Vendor Spam: Data Center Airflow

Next up in our vendor e-mail series is a company that wants 15-20 minutes to meet and discuss their innovative data center cooling solution:

Good morning. Yes, I would be happy to meet with you!  My billing rate for such a discussion is typically $150/hour.  However, given the agreeable and gregarious nature of your inquiry, I would be happy to offer my time for only $135/hour.  The standard 2-hour minimum billing would still apply, of course.

As your solicitation has no relevance to my current responsibilities at XYZ company, I must assume that you are contacting me in reference to my other facility.  Located in a single-family dwelling, the non-dedicated computing space incorporates not only a late-model, single-core, desktop machine, but also a business-class laser printer, an archive-quality photo printer, computer-controlled stenciling equipment, and a two-drive NAS.   We maintain networking equipment there – including a cable modem and wireless router, as well as a single wireless phone.  Clearly it is critical that we address the airflow issues in this high-performance environment.

Unfortunately, we face a number of challenges which will likely impact the scope of effort to implement your company’s solution.  Specifically, as the facility was established on a slab foundation with neither crawl space, multi-level flooring, or a basement, it would be necessary to first install a raised floor environment.  Not only would this provide the capability to consider the type of solution you describe, it would also generate hours of entertainment for the children playing on the new ramp into the room.

After further consideration, I realized that to fully outfit this facility appropriately, it should also consider a halon fire-suppression system.  Given the plumbing requirements and permitting hassles associated with this, I suspect there may be some delay before this can be completed.  Therefore, as I would prefer to complete that task before addressing the airflow concerns, please await my call pending completion of the other enhancements.

Regards,

Ambitious Homeowner